Grief. Going. Healing.

Christmas time in America is more often than not magical, right? Christmas trees decorated beautifully everywhere. My parents’ house always had two trees decorated in the house. Sometimes there would be three trees. Every street is lit up at night with lights, blow-ups, and all the decorations you could think of. Stores are jolly and bright. Christmas tunes and carols are played on every radio station. Every channel on the television has some kind of holiday themed show or movie on. People are wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Fake Santas appear everywhere. Churches have special Christmas services, and they are often packed to the rim because everyone goes to church on Christmas and Easter. You will see Jesus is the reason for the season signs. People are counting down until Christmas every day until it’s finally Christmas Day. Some crazy people begin counting down until the next Christmas the 26^th of December.  And if you are so lucky as to have a white Christmas, you have hit the jackpot of all Christmases.

Growing up, Christmas was always a huge deal for my family. Until the Christmas I was 11, we spent every Christmas Eve at my grandma’s house. All the cousins would be there most of the day. We would eat a meal together, open gifts, and make sure we were home in time to set milk and cookies out for Santa. We had rules in place at my family’s house that on Christmas day, you could not wake mom and dad up until 6 am. I was usually wide awake by 5 am and had kindly woken both of my brothers up and explored all around the house looking at what Santa brought. I’d eventually get to storm into my parents’ room yelling “Get up! Get up! Santa came!!! Merry Christmas!!!” or some variation of that. After all the presents were opened and everything was played with and cleaned up, my grandma would make her way to our house to see all our gifts and to spend the day with us. After my grandma died, Christmas changed a little. No more family gatherings. We spent Christmas either with friends or as just a family unit.

Thomas lived for all things Christmas and always did his best to make it as special as possible. I have so many memories of Christmas past of baking cookies with him. One time we made so many sugar cookies and iced them in such bizarre ways, we were banned from making sugar cookies ever again. Hanging up Christmas decorations anywhere and everywhere. Spending hours upon hours riding in the car to look at Christmas lights. Even without him, Christmas still had some of these elements present. I could talk about Thomas’ love for Christmas all day, but I already spent one post talking about it. (In Memory Of)

For whatever reason, I think the above paragraphs shaped my idea of what Christmas should and would always look like. My idea was wrong, and that’s okay. This year I experienced my first Christmas overseas. Take my description of America from above and throw it out the window. Now you have a description of what my December has looked like. I went to Dairy Queen the middle of December and saw my first Christmas tree. It was one of those pinch me I’m dreaming moments. December was HOT. Everywhere I turned, I didn’t hear Merry Christmas or Mariah Carey’s All I Want for Christmas. It was different. Factor in trying to figure out how to remember my brother during the holiday season in a country he’s never been too and would probably be mad I’m in, and it was almost like another round of culture shock.

As December progressed, and the lack of “Christmas spirit” filled the air and my mind. The Lord graciously reminded me of why I’m here and what Christmas is really about. You see, I’m in a part of the world where Christianity isn’t the norm. There isn’t a church on every street corner. People won’t say they are a Christian just because that’s the answer they know you are expecting to hear. I’m in a part of the world where there are few Christians for the size of the population of the country. I’m in a part of the world where temples are everywhere. You see spirit houses at almost every house and establishment. You see monks walking everyday receiving money from people and in return saying a blessing over them. Many people, if asked, wouldn’t be able to tell you what’s so special about Christmas. The local public schools and just about everything else in the country proceeded as if Christmas was any other day. I’m here because of those people. I’m here to share with them why Christmas is such a great day and the importance of Jesus’ life.

I took the time to talk about the first Christmas with my classes. I’m thankful the Lord allowed me to have the opportunity to tell some kids about the birth of His son. If you’ve never experienced telling someone the gospel or a Bible story that they’ve never heard, you are missing out on something special. In my evening class, we watched a movie and read the story written in small words such that they would understand. The faces of my students as they heard the story for the first time are images that I’ll never be able to get out of my head.

I don’t know that my students truly understand the importance of Christmas, but they know Jesus came and was born in the city of Bethlehem. They know Mary and Joseph were his parents and both were visited by an angel at separate times. They know about the shepherds and how angels appeared to them and told them about Jesus’ birth and to go and worship him. They know about the wise men who brought gifts to Jesus. They know about the evil dude King Herrod who wanted to kill Jesus and thus killed every baby boy under the age of 2 in the region. They also know an angel of the Lord appeared to Joseph in a dream telling him to flee with his family to Egypt until he would be told it was safe to return.

My hope and prayer is that one day, they will learn about Jesus’ life, death, and resurrection. That these precious students and people, will come to know Jesus as their savior and Lord like I do. That temples, spirit houses, and monks won’t be a part of their beliefs anymore. My hope and prayer is that one day these students will know that there is only one name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved, and that name is Jesus Christ. Life and purpose are truly found once you have a relationship with your maker.

Christmas in Cambodia. The third Christmas without Thomas and my first Christmas overseas. This Christmas has been quite different from every other Christmas before. It’s been different, but beautiful. I don’t know if this is my first and last Christmas overseas or if there are more to come, but I know that the Lord has used this Christmas season to remind me of what Christmas is about and what it is not. It’s about His perfect son who was fully God and fully man. His son who knew no sin and yet willingly chose to die on the cross for my sin so that one day I could be reconciled to God. It’s not about all of the extra things we add to the day and the season. I’m grateful for my Christmas overseas and how the Lord continues to use everything about my time here to make me more like Him every day.