Dear teenage me,
This is adult me writing you to give some advice I wish we would have had sooner. I’m 30, living in another country, and not using that degree we worked so hard- take a minute and let that sink in. I’m still letting it sink in and still learning it’s okay that life looks a little different than I ever
imagined. This whole “adult thing” doesn’t quite live up to the hype we see on the media. Growing up is hard. Adulting is hard. Enjoy being a teenager.
It’s okay to be silly and not be serious all the time. Don’t wish for the next season to come so quickly. Don’t get me wrong, being an adult absolutely has its pros, and I think we’ve almost hit actual adult status, but be all in the teenage season of being young and dumb. Don’t wish to grow up so fast. One day you’ll blink and the world will look completely different and you’ll wake up with a sore body.
People pleasing is no way to live. Will you ever genuinely please everyone without losing yourself at some point? No isn’t a bad word even if telling
someone no makes you incredibly uncomfortable.
Good grades don’t define who you are. Sure, everyone loves to see an A on a test, or be on some kind of honor roll or Dean’s list, but not getting that A in a class or on a test doesn’t make you a failure. You may or may not retake a class or two. Calc 2 is so nice, you will take it twice. But your experiences
of struggling with math will make you that much better of a math instructor. Apparently,
you will have a rate my professor profile and students will say you are fun and understand what it means to be a student. Failing things is HARD, but embrace the hard and know it will turn out okay in the end. Just as grades don’t define you, neither does being a softball player. The crack of the bat as you hit a triple and the snap of a ball hitting the leather of the glove are some of your favorite sounds. But your world will not collapse if you don’t play forever. Being a third baseman, batting clean up, and being a team captain doesn’t truly
define you. It never has and it never will. Remember, you are Christ’s and He
alone defines you.
I’m pretty sure you think you have it all figured out during the teen years. You know what degree you will pursue. You may switch up the plan a few times, but you will always land back on the same thing. FYI, you don’t have it all figured out. Your plan “awesome plan” is trash compared to what God has planned for you. Seek Him. Chase hard after Him. In the end, you only live once and the
only things that matter are what you do for Christ. The world is going to try to distract you and drag you down but keep your eyes on the prize and run with endurance the race Christ has before you.
You don’t have to be brave and strong all the time. It’s okay to not have it altogether. It’s okay to ask for help. Crying is NOT a sign of weakness. Let
people into the hard things in life. You are going to have to do some hard work in therapy to truly understand these things (we are still working on them), but man would it be nice to get a head start on it. Also, going to therapy doesn’t make you crazy or a mental patient. Get that stereotype out of your dang head. Therapy is helping us become the person God has called us to be.
Life is short. You aren’t guaranteed another day with anyone. Make sure your people know how you feel. In the blink of a second, someone could be gone and you’ll be left with regret of what you wish you had said while you had the chance.
While if you or we or me knew any of these things as a teen, we wouldn’t be who we are or where we are today, but that doesn’t change the fact I wish I
could tell you them. Keep your head up, kid. Life’s going to get crazy. Good news though, the Lord is always faithful and will be with us the entire time we are on the crazy roller coaster of life. He is always good. He is always at work.He is always sovereign.
Love,
Adult me
Grief. Going. Healing. 