There was this trend on social media a few years ago and occasionally people still participate in it. They would find some old photo of them and their siblings and or family members and then recreate it. The trend had I’m Just a Kid by Simple Plan playing in the background. (Side note- if you haven’t heard it, it is a “bop”, that’s what kids are calling good songs these days right? It was also one of my favorite songs in my inner angsty teen years. Fair warning, the bridge does use some non-kid friendly language.) I always wanted to pick some crazy childhood photo of me and my brothers and recreate it as adults. Would they have agreed to it? Probably not, but I would have tried to convince them anyways.
April 10th is Siblings Day. Since my oldest brother passed away, I’ve always had mixed emotions on the that day. I’d say the emotions are similar to those I feel on holidays and other special occasions. Not as extreme, but there nonetheless. The first April 10th that passed after Thomas left this earth, I was angry when I logged onto social media and saw all of these people posting recent pictures with their siblings. It also made me realize that the trend of recreating photos is something I will never have the opportunity to do now with my brothers. I mean, sure, we could find a picture of just me and Timothy and recreate it, but it wouldn’t be the same without all of us there. The grief and anger was real. and I did not yet have the tools to process those emotions yet.
This year, I decided to fact check that April 10th was in fact siblings day. Google confirmed this to be true, but I learned something new with that search. Siblings day was born out of a woman honoring the passing of her brother and sister at a young age. April 10th was chosen because it was her sister’s birthday. A day that I previously struggled with had a new perspective for me. Yes, people use it to honor and acknowledge siblings that are living and they are doing life with, but it originated out of grief and honoring those siblings that were gone too soon.
I am grateful for the 28 years I had with both brothers. I’m still angry at times that it wasn’t longer. I’m grateful that Thomas was here for 28 years of my life. He annoyed me. He bullied me as any big brother does. He also loved me, looked out for me, and wanted the best me- whatever that looked like. I’m grateful to still have Timothy here to continue annoying me, bullying me, and blowing up my instagram notifications on the daily. I’m grateful for a new way to look at siblings day.
So if you’re lucky enough to have all of your siblings alive, enjoy them while you can. Let them know what they mean to you before you don’t have that option. If you are like me, and one sibling has already passed away, just because they are gone does not make them any less our sibling. If you are new in the grief journey, keep putting one foot in front of the other. It will get better. Things will never go back to how they were, but life will continue and the grief will stop being all consuming.
Grief. Going. Healing. 
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