Over the last year or so, I have had the opportunity to share my testimony with various different people. Each time I share it, it’s a little different based on the group of people I’m sharing with…. A little different meaning I may emphasize or really focus on one part over another part. The main sections are always the same. My life before Christ, encountering Christ, and how my life has changed because of Him.
During vacation Bible school the summer of 2001, I began to realize I was a sinner in need of God’s forgiveness. I knew Jesus died on the cross for my sin so that I could have a relationship with God if I repented of my sins and acknowledged my desperate need for Him. But, what I didn’t understand was the urgency of it all. In my little 7 year old head, it only mattered if I was in right standing with the Lord when I died. I was 7… I had no concept of death or that we weren’t promised another day. I never made a profession of faith, or as those of us in the south said during my childhood, I never asked Jesus into my heart.
The summer of 2002 I went to a week long Christian summer camp. This was my first time being gone from my parents for that long. One of my brothers was working at the camp. My other brother was also a camper. I had been to this camp many times for different home school functions so the camp itself wasn’t new to me.
During the day, I was living my best life at camp. I would go swimming twice a day. I had a bible class in the morning. I could go to the snack shop and buy all of the junk food that my heart desired. After dinner, we had camp wide games followed by a time to clean up for evening chapel. In between cleaning up and chapel, there was also another change to go to the snack shop. Every night, without fail, as the sun began to set, I became so homesick.
I am pretty sure I had the same conversation with my oldest brother, Thomas, every night from Monday – Thursday of that week. I would go up to Thomas with these massive alligator sized tears rolling down my face. I would tell him I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to the camp office, call my parents to come pick me up, and then go home. Thomas’ response was also the same every night. He told me that he would take me to the office and tell them I wanted to go home, BUT I needed to know that if I called our parents and went home, I would be black balled from camp. They would never let me come back as a camper. So I had a decision to make. Could I stay at camp the whole week or could I be okay with never being a camper there again? Needless to say, I stayed at camp and proceeded to cry every night.
When I share my testimony, people get a small glimpse of my week at camp… I tell them I was there. I was terribly homesick so most of what I learned that week was a blur. They don’t get to hear about me crying to my brother every night.
As I was preparing to share at a church a few weeks ago, I connected some dots in my story that for the past 24 years hadn’t even crossed my mind of being connected. You see, had Thomas not pushed so hard for me to stay at camp by lying that I wouldn’t be allowed to come back, there is no doubt in my mind that I would have left night 1. I would have gone home and spent the week being the only child in the house. It would have been great. But because Thomas was having no part of me leaving, I stayed at camp the whole week. The last night of camp was a Friday night. My counselor shared the gospel with my cabin. She used a wordless book and walked us through what the different colors represented and what the gospel meant for us. She ended her gospel presentation with a few questions. She asked if we knew who Jesus was? If we knew who He was, had we surrendered our life to Him? If we were to die tomorrow or the next day or the next week, did we know Jesus as Lord? Would we hear “Well done my good and faithful servant?” I professed faith in Christ that night. I repented of my sin and confessed my need for Jesus as my savior and Lord.
Because Thomas was so adamant that I not go home, I heard the gospel again. I heard it in such a way that I truly understood. The Holy Spirit showed me my need for the Lord. My eyes were opened. I was born again. I entered the greatest family ever because I stayed at camp that week.
Am I saying I’ve saved because of my brother? Absolutely not. I’m saying that because of his actions, I stayed, heard the gospel, and put my faith in Jesus. My brother has been dead for almost 5 years. I’m not sure why the different pieces of my story finally connected this year… why it connected 24 years after I professed faith in Christ. But, I think it’s a sweet gift from the Lord. A reminder of my brother. A reminder of what a huge impact my brother had on my life.
I never imagined when I went to summer camp all those years ago that I would be homesick the whole week. I never imagined I would go from death to life that week. Praise be to God how He is at work in all things. Similarly to how all sorts of things happened at camp that I never imagined happening, I never imagined I would be 28 when my brother died at the age of 35. I never imagined having to walk through so much of this life without my big brother. But what a joy and comfort it is to know Thomas is in Heaven where we all long to be… Because of that week at camp 24 years ago, when I die, I’ll see my brother again.
If you are reading this and have no idea what I’m talking about when I say sinner or savior or death to life, let me put a brief explanation.
In the beginning, there was God. He has always been and always will be. God is perfect and holy. God made everything and everything He made was good. Sin entered the world separating mankind from God. Sin is anything we think, say or do, that breaks God’s laws. Romans 3:23 tells use everyone has sinned. Romans 6:23 tells us the price we should pay for our sin is death. BUT God loved us, so so so much, He didn’t leave us hanging. He didn’t leave us to die for our sin. He sent His son Jesus, who was both fully God and fully man, to earth. Jesus, though tempted, lived a perfect life. He hung and died on a cross for the sin of the world. After 3 days in the grave, Jesus rose up from the grave conquering sin and death forever. Romans 10 tells us that if we confess with our mouths and believe in our hearts that God raised Jesus from the dead, you will be saved. Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved. After being saved from sin, you have to continue walking with the Lord and growing your relationship with Him until you are called to your heavenly home. There are a lot of different religions and beliefs in the world, but there is only ONE name that can save us, and that’s Jesus.
Questions about God? Drop them in the comment box below.
Anxiety bible blog Boundaries Brother Christian Christianity Christmas Community dailyprompt death Depression faith family god Grateful Gratitude gratitude-journal Grief Grief blog Healing health Holiday Grief holidays Hope jesus Life loss love Mathematics mental-health mental-illness mindfulness Missions Overseas Overseas Christmas politics prayer Purpose Sibling Grief Sibling Loss thankful Thanksgiving travel writing
Grief. Going. Healing. 
Leave a comment