Grief. Going. Healing.

Do you ever have so many thoughts in your mind at once, and you don’t know how to compile them? I feel like that’s me tonight. I have so many thoughts racing through my brain. Like most things I write, I’m not sure of the path this will take or where I’m going with any of this. I’m also attempting to write this post on a note in my phone… So, we will see how this goes. 

I have 2 more days left on the island I’ve called home for the last 12 days. It feels like I’ve blinked, got sunburned, shared the gospel, and now it’s already time to leave. I’m not even sure I’ve fully beat jet lag at this point. 

This trip overseas has been drastically different than anything I’ve done to this point. I’m traveling with 16 teenagers and 3 other adults. All of the teenagers I met 4 days before we began our adventure across the world. I’ve had to say things like don’t run in the airport. Let’s not talk about hijacking and stealing things where we currently are. All things I never thought I’d ever have to say. I had a lady smile and wave a machete at me two days ago. Yesterday, I participated in a real life game of Mario Kart as our trike drivers tried to out race each other. At one point, I’m not sure if I was more excited or terrified by what I was currently experiencing. I do know I wish I had a banana peel to throw at the trike behind us.

All joking aside, I think the biggest difference has been the openness of people being willing to discuss the Bible and what they believe in a civil manner. You walk up to a house, say hello, talk a few minutes, tell them why you’re here, and ask if you can share a testimony and the gospel. Only once have people disappeared after asking if my team and I could share. Like legit, we walked in, and they all walked away. I’ve always worked in a predominantly Buddhist area, but here, it’s some form of Catholicism. 

One of my favorite conversations so far has been with a lady called A. We said hello, she let us in, we shared a testimony with her, shared the gospel, and asked what she believed. She told us she used to be of Muslim belief but now is Catholic. We asked her if we could return in the following days with a Bible for her and if we could have a Bible study or two with her. She said absolutely. Whenever she is home, we are welcome there. She told us she used to have a Bible, but a super typhoon came through and she lost everything. She said she believes it’s better to read the Bible than to gossip.

A few days later, we were able to return and give A the Bible and have our first Bible study with her. The first story we studied with her was on the criminal on the cross. As we talked about the story, she kept asking questions that showed she’s interested in the gospel and a relationship with Christ. She ended the conversation telling us that you can’t be assured of salvation and that she won’t know where she’ll spend eternity until life is over. She said she could be in Heaven, hell, or purgatory, but she wouldn’t know until she got there. 

We followed up with her again two days ago. This time we talked about the fall of man. Before we even started our study, she told us she had been reading her Bible and asking God for wisdom as she read. While it was already the plan, she insisted we prayed together before opening the word. She told us that one of the beliefs of the people where she lives is that if they don’t do certain things, then Mary will be mad and bad things will happen to them. She then told us how she just tries really hard to do good things. I realized where the conversation needed to go and prayed for wisdom and the best words to use, and I took this opportunity to share the gospel with her again. I shared how God’s word is true. We talked about how His word is good for teaching, preaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness (2 Timothy 3:16). I told her how we all sin. Sin separates us from God, and because of that sin, we should die ( Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23). We talked about how good works alone can’t save us. That we are saved by grace through faith so that no one can boast (Ephesians 2:8-9). We have to have a relationship with Christ, not just some religion. We talked about how if we confess with our mouth and believe in our heart that God rose Jesus from the dead we can be saved (Romans 10:9). I told her how good works, being nice, being a “good” person, won’t save anyone. The only way we can have that restored relationship with God is through His son Jesus. I told her that one day we will all die and stand before the throne of God. If our name wasn’t found in the Lamb’s book of life, the names of those who confessed Him as Lord and Savior, then they would spend eternity apart from God in hell. 

When I was finished sharing, she continued asking questions. She told us when she reads the Bible, she gets confused. One of my teammates told her that we don’t have a God of confusion. We assured her that if we ask God for wisdom, He would give it. I haven’t been able to see A again since that day. I pray for her salvation constantly. 

Another big difference in my time here versus other trips is the intensity of spiritual warfare. I’ve previously been to spiritually dark places, where gospel conversations don’t just happen everyday. You can just feel the spiritual darkness, but here, you can sense the spiritual warfare that’s going on. There are some 40ish people on this island sharing the gospel. People are coming to Christ. People are asking questions and seeking truth. The enemy is NOT happy. Thankfully, we are in Christ, and we are on the winning team. It doesn’t make the daily warfare and spiritual battle easier, but it’s comforting to know God wins in the end. Satan will not prevail. There is a spiritual warfare book we were assigned to read before the trip. I’ll be honest, I didn’t read it, but I did go back and look at the previous things that stood out to me. I quote this regularly and have found myself saying it everyday since being here. We must be aware but not impressed about what the enemy can do. God has satan on a leash and there’s only so much he can do. 

Riding back from the villages the last few days, I’ve been jumping back and forth between the chorus and bridge of two different songs. I’m sure my trike driver thinks I’m a lunatic. The songs are The Highest and  The Greatest by Tim Hughes and Holy Forever by Chris Tomlin. Below are the choruses and bridges of the songs 

You are the highest. You are the greatest. You are the Lord of all. Angels will worship. Nations will bow down to the Lord of all. 

Let every heart. Let every tongue sing of your name. Let every heart. Let every tongue sing sing sing. 

Your name is the highest. Your name is the greatest. Your name stands above them all. All thrones and dominions all powers and positions, your name stands above them all. 

And the angels cry holy. All creation cries holy. You are lifted high holy. Holy forever. Hear Your people sing holy. To the king of kings holy. You will always be holy. Holy forever. 

As we were flying down the curvy roads, and I was singing these songs, I began praying that the words of these songs would become truths that the people on this island believe. They would come to know Him as the highest and greatest. He is holy. He is above all names, all thrones and all dominions. I’m praying this for sweet A. I’m praying this for the others I haven’t shared about. I’m praying this for my sweet friends and new family I left on this side of the world 3 months ago. Would you join me in this prayer? Join me in praying for the lost. Support those who are going to those who don’t know. Maybe you can be one who physically goes. One day, every tribe, tongue, and nation will be gathered around His throne. If we are in Christ, it is our obligation to tell the lost in the world about Him.